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A place for tulpa-related questions and resources. Broad discussion topics go in #tulpa-discussion. If you are new, please check out the pinned messages. Forum Link to Tulpa Questions: https://community.tulpa.info/forum/13-tulpa-questions-answers/
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The first tulpa. the one from this story long ago "1. Intrusive thoughts led me to believe my Tulpa was failed (I can recognize these thoughts slightly better now) and led me to treat said 2 day old tulpa more like a servitor. After this she said she wanted to be dissipated and I obliged. However later that next morning, a NPC became a bit more sentient. I asked said npc her name and the name was the same name of the tulpa I hurt and therefore dissipated. I visualized her all day (As I usually do) fighting and destroying intrusive thoughts of the former tulpa coming back for revenge. I came back home and we had some fun and talked a bit. After a bit I was lying down doing some visualisation practice. At this point I felt my fingers move on their own while I felt vibrations around my body. I know tulpas can't switch without my consent but it only fed said intrusive thoughts more then I'd like to admit."
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The sentient NPC is Destiny
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Atlas ˗ˏˋM&M´ˎ˗ BOT 5/17/2023 1:25 AM
Honestly, the fear that Amanda has about being abandoned just sounds like trust issues to me.
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sentient and NPC are not traits you can describe one person together lmao. if its an NPC its not sentient as that is the entire point of an NPC. (edited)
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Atlas ˗ˏˋM&M´ˎ˗ BOT 5/17/2023 1:26 AM
That can stem from a variety of different places, and I cannot confidently tell you where or what it comes from. This is up to you.
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berockly (TTG) 5/17/2023 1:26 AM
So amanda and NPC are separate? And "NPC" is Destin?y
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Atlas ˗ˏˋM&M´ˎ˗ BOT 5/17/2023 1:26 AM
The only solution I can think of is to figure out the root of her fears, and find a way to communicate with her in order to challenge and destroy said root cause.
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She was and NPC. I suppose let in is an appropriate term
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berockly (TTG) 5/17/2023 1:27 AM
Then what happened to Amanda, if Amanda was a tulpa who was dissipated (if i understand correctly)
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"Ok so, I am going to need some guidance. My first tulpa wanted to come back and I let her. Now I have 2 tulpas. Both of which are at the "parroting but can speak for themselves stage" of their development. Our biggest concern is dividing attention amongst one another as none of us were prepared for a group of 3 (not counting servitors). I talked to them and they said to ask y'all because they are a stuck as I am"
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berockly (TTG) 5/17/2023 1:28 AM
How did she end up back, that part was left out
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She just did.
1:28 AM
Said she wanted to start over
1:28 AM
Mind you she , like the other 3, Developed fast
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berockly (TTG) 5/17/2023 1:29 AM
Ah, so you dissipated her, had a let in, and then she came back?
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I didn't realize at the time how herculean of a task dissipation is
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berockly (TTG) 5/17/2023 1:29 AM
What about zane, whats his story
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Atlas ˗ˏˋM&M´ˎ˗ BOT 5/17/2023 1:29 AM
I don't think I'm understanding the situation properly.
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berockly (TTG) 5/17/2023 1:29 AM
Im not either
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Atlas ˗ˏˋM&M´ˎ˗ BOT 5/17/2023 1:30 AM
So sorry if my advice was not sufficient in helping solve your problem.
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Not relevant
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Lolcery (TTG) ↩️
Reply to: What about zane, whats his story
1:31 AM
though I am willing to DM if you want an explanation
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berockly (TTG) 5/17/2023 1:31 AM
Im curious regardless Not that imma force you to say it if you dont want to
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Zee
I didn't realize at the time how herculean of a task dissipation is
A long kiss goodnight 5/17/2023 1:32 AM
Once I get upstairs I'm very curious to learn more about how you went about the dissipation process. If done well, there shouldn't be an issue like this unfolding (?) Dissipation doesn't have to be on the table, but it does sound like there's some in-system stuff going on. Based on what you and Zane have reported, I think there is a decent possibility of intrusive thoughts, but it may or may not be the cause (edited)
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Atlas ˗ˏˋM&M´ˎ˗ BOT 5/17/2023 1:32 AM
If you're trying to reduce your headcount, if that is what I understand correctly, then you could also fuse headmates instead?
1:32 AM
We find it easier personally.
1:33 AM
thats not what is happening
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berockly (TTG) 5/17/2023 1:33 AM
Well, from what i gathered, the case is there is a headmate seemingly afraid of dissipation, not that they are trying to dissipate the headmate
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Atlas ˗ˏˋM&M´ˎ˗ BOT 5/17/2023 1:33 AM
Then my advice still stands.
1:33 AM
My initial advice.
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berockly (TTG) 5/17/2023 1:33 AM
Yeah
1:34 AM
I feel like its trust issues
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A long kiss goodnight
Once I get upstairs I'm very curious to learn more about how you went about the dissipation process. If done well, there shouldn't be an issue like this unfolding (?) Dissipation doesn't have to be on the table, but it does sound like there's some in-system stuff going on. Based on what you and Zane have reported, I think there is a decent possibility of intrusive thoughts, but it may or may not be the cause (edited)
In system stuff is the understatement of the century
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Atlas ˗ˏˋM&M´ˎ˗ BOT 5/17/2023 1:34 AM
As do I. Much of tulpamancy relies on trusting one another in full.
1:34 AM
Or at least, as much as you can.
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We talked in depth (multiple times) about it. Which is why we are suprised she is freakingout bad
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berockly (TTG) 5/17/2023 1:36 AM
Well, id offer to talk to her But that is my curiosity talking, not the part of me that is gonna be of much help
1:36 AM
Mostly, im curious on her view on things
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berockly (TTG)
Well, id offer to talk to her But that is my curiosity talking, not the part of me that is gonna be of much help
Let me see if I can get her to front
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Atlas ˗ˏˋM&M´ˎ˗ BOT 5/17/2023 1:37 AM
Being such a new life, the idea that that life could be "stopped" or altered fundamentally can be scary. I get it, it can totally be frightening, and she has every right to feel that way. That being said, the important thing is to trust in your headmates. I'm talking to you, Amanda. Dissipation scares you, it's okay that it does, but your friends have told you they will not do such a thing, and that means you need to at least try to believe in that.
1:39 AM
Trust issues suck. I get it, we have and had issues with that, which hindered our system for multiple years. The moment you attempt to face your fears and place trust in the ones who share your body to have your best interests at heart, it's been such a relieving, freeing, positive experience for us.
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It is mostly relationship iissues. I get too jealous sometimes and I lose it. I know he won't dissipate me, but for some reason I think he hates me.
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Atlas ˗ˏˋM&M´ˎ˗ BOT 5/17/2023 1:42 AM
Hey, I get that. Our host seems to have similar issues to you. Perhaps not fear of being dissipated, but trust issues and jealousy.
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Lynn (TTG) BOT 5/17/2023 1:42 AM
i personally sometimes get moody when i am in an "attention needy" state if that makes sense
1:42 AM
ill cling to wesley (host) a lot more during those times
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Juniper (he/him) 🔷 Sapphire Safehaven 3(🏝)0 BOT 5/17/2023 1:43 AM
Yeah, that's similar to the issues that a few people in our system faced pretty early on
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I feel like I have been replaced by Destiny. I haven't clearly but I was the first and it seems destiny is very simiolar to me. To be honest me and Destiny haven't been getting along
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Lynn (TTG) BOT 5/17/2023 1:43 AM
i wouldnt say i have trust issues or anything, just that i have times where i get moody and need more attention
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Amanda
I feel like I have been replaced by Destiny. I haven't clearly but I was the first and it seems destiny is very simiolar to me. To be honest me and Destiny haven't been getting along
berockly (TTG) 5/17/2023 1:44 AM
So your jealous of Destiny? /gen
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Zee and Zane have both assured me that I haven't been replaced. Yes I am Jealous of Destiny
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Atlas ˗ˏˋM&M´ˎ˗ BOT 5/17/2023 1:44 AM
You two are both in the same boat. You and Destiny, as well as Zee and Zane are like a team; a team needs cooperation and mutual internal support to win the game. If the team all fights, or fears one another, or has negative thoughts voiced towards their teammates, then that team will have a much harder time winning.
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Amanda ↩️
Reply to: I feel like I have been replaced by Destiny. I haven't clearly but I was the first and it seems dest…
1:45 AM
Even if you two dislike each other, would it help to see your relationship for the time being like that? Like a group effort? Even if you don't get along, at least be civil with one another and try and hear one another out.
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berockly (TTG) 5/17/2023 1:47 AM
There is a few routes one can go with this
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Atlas ˗ˏˋM&M´ˎ˗ BOT 5/17/2023 1:47 AM
Mhm, the important thing is to remember that you have multiple options in solving this problem. You aren't trapped against a metaphorical wall here. At least, not if you don't allow yourself to think that way.
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berockly (TTG) 5/17/2023 1:48 AM
And there is no reason to make them exclude each other either, you can go both routes 1. You can make an effort to set yourself apart from destiny/vice versa 2. Learn to accept your similarities
1:48 AM
Those are a few suggestions
1:48 AM
I forgot the other ones
1:50 AM
In any case, try not to feel replaced, know its okay to be similar
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She seems to have went Dormant for a while. We will talk about it later.
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berockly (TTG) 5/17/2023 1:52 AM
Ah alright
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Atlas ˗ˏˋM&M´ˎ˗ BOT 5/17/2023 1:53 AM
Sure thing. Stay safe.
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Atlas ˗ˏˋM&M´ˎ˗
Sure thing. Stay safe.
you too. I appreciate
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Dream | Shadow System BOT 5/17/2023 2:02 AM
Sometimes I get a little envious when Gray spends time with Ranger. It's something we worked out by acknowledging the issue and Gray making sure he's giving us both time. I also spend time with Ranger too.
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Juniper (he/him) 🔷 Sapphire Safehaven 3(🏝)0 BOT 5/17/2023 2:04 AM
Yeah, we've had a decent amount of instances of jealousy ourselves, sitting down and talking to each other to figure out how to resolve the issue does wonders
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Atlas ˗ˏˋM&M´ˎ˗ BOT 5/17/2023 2:05 AM
A lot of mason's old shit is a result of jealousy. She doesn't do it as much when she realized we all love her very, very much. (aww)
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Lynn (TTG) BOT 5/17/2023 2:05 AM
i dont particularly get jealous, just attention needy
2:05 AM
sort of like a clingy state
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Juniper (he/him) 🔷 Sapphire Safehaven 3(🏝)0 BOT 5/17/2023 2:07 AM
We've got a few people in our system who have multiple partners as well as best friends, so allocating the one day they have in front per month is pretty hard.
2:08 AM
Rantaro has three partners in the system and a ton of friends so it's like doing a juggling act trying to figure out how to include as many people as he can
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Libby (TTG) BOT 5/17/2023 2:11 AM
sounds inconvenient for everyone to have separated lists of friends and partners
2:12 AM
there is a division not only between the time of the system mates, but a further division between social circles
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Atlas ˗ˏˋM&M´ˎ˗ BOT 5/17/2023 2:12 AM
I mean, I wouldn't want to share my partner with my systemmates.
2:13 AM
We're monogamous.
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Juniper (he/him) 🔷 Sapphire Safehaven 3(🏝)0 BOT 5/17/2023 2:13 AM
I'm monogamous but a decent amount of my systemmates are polyamorus (edited)
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Libby (TTG) BOT 5/17/2023 2:14 AM
then don't, not like i'd be lovey dovey with anyone anyways, i find the idea of me becoming lovey dovey with people repulsive to an extent
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Juniper (he/him) 🔷 Sapphire Safehaven 3(🏝)0 BOT 5/17/2023 2:14 AM
We wouldn't date anyone outside the system, with our schedule and variety of orientations it wouldn't work out
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Libby (TTG) BOT 5/17/2023 2:15 AM
ah, it would be a pain in the ass without the orientation issue
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Juniper (he/him) 🔷 Sapphire Safehaven 3(🏝)0 BOT 5/17/2023 2:15 AM
Absolutely
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If anyone of us were to date someone it would probably be me because i front most of the time I feel like if say, momo, dated someone they wouldn't front enough to actually fully interact with the person and it would be a lack of interaction for both of them I also think it would be nice if my partner could like, acknowledge my headmates and maybe we could all date them? I'm sure it would depend on the partner though
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Libby (TTG) BOT 5/17/2023 2:17 AM
a bigger pain in the ass with the differences
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Atlas ˗ˏˋM&M´ˎ˗ BOT 5/17/2023 2:18 AM
I do wonder how being plural will impact out external love life.
2:18 AM
We do see an external partner as being important to us in the future, but as of now, we've decided not to look. Too much trouble, not currently desirable.
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Libby (TTG) BOT 5/17/2023 2:19 AM
most of us will be partnerless, with the closest thing to one being our host As bad as that may sound, I don't really care much about what you think about it Im not very affectionate anyways
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I doubt i'll ever actually get a partner cuz i don't go anywhere and i have barely any friends anymore The one guy i sorta had a crush on, i don't talk with him anymore since i'm not in school. Plus he's straight so
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Libby (TTG)
most of us will be partnerless, with the closest thing to one being our host As bad as that may sound, I don't really care much about what you think about it Im not very affectionate anyways
That's fair
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Juniper (he/him) 🔷 Sapphire Safehaven 3(🏝)0 BOT 5/17/2023 2:20 AM
We're confident that we could pursue our hobbies and passions easier without an external partner, there's so much to do outside of romance
2:21 AM
I have a partner in the system but I usually hang out with my other friends in the group
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Libby (TTG) BOT 5/17/2023 2:21 AM
that's just the way it is for us We dont have an interest in other people, outside of wes, and some of us are particularly attached to him, like Lynn
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I don't feel the need for a partner but at the same time i know that nobody would ever really love me so it's just a little lonely I try to be fulfilled on my own though
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Atlas ˗ˏˋM&M´ˎ˗ BOT 5/17/2023 2:21 AM
I'm saving a long-term relationship for my later adult years.
2:22 AM
I just want to take the next ten years settling down and getting my degree.
2:22 AM
My parents met in college, I don't want to do that lmao.
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Fair enough
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Juniper (he/him) 🔷 Sapphire Safehaven 3(🏝)0 BOT 5/17/2023 2:22 AM
Yeah, the body's mother was married when she was our age, absolutely not doing that
2:23 AM
we're in our second year of uni just trying to get our degree and hopefully a good job
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I'm just trying to even remotely function I can't really do anything, i'm pretty significantly disabled taking everything into consideration
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Libby (TTG) BOT 5/17/2023 2:24 AM
we don't function well, not compared to how we used to
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Good luck with your ventures guys though
nh_flower 1
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Libby (TTG) BOT 5/17/2023 2:25 AM
we function well enough to where we don't notice it
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